After being home for two days, getting no sleep, having frustrations of not being able to feed my own baby, and some tears along the way, we went to our first appointment on Wednesday to see how our little MJ was doing. We ended the appointment with being on our way to the emergency room at Primary Children's Hospital to treat her jaundice and being dehydrated. The next 30 hours were the hardest I have ever been through. Nothing breaks your heart more than seeing your sweet innocent baby poked with needles and hearing her cries. Thank heavens for a strong husband who held my hand saying everything would be fine and to not worry.
Watching her lay in 'the cage' as we called it, I felt so helpless and kept blaming myself thinking I should have known there was something wrong, what could I have done to prevent this all? I felt like the worst mother ever, till finally listening to Ryan, the nurses and doctors saying unfortunately this is common and I'm not at fault at all. A phone call from my sister helped ease my feelings who went through much worse with her first child and knew how I was feeling. Lack of sleep for the last 5 days and hormones do not mix well.
Long story short she was put on fluids first to see if her bili level count would go down, if not than she would need to go under the fluorescent lights. Frustration grew as she would not nurse from me, her screams made me want to cry with her. They had a lactation specialist work with us, MJ would either nurse for a second or two than fall asleep or cry and get frustrated because milk wasn't coming fast enough for her. She takes to a bottle just fine so we tried switching between the two, it was exhausting physically and emotionally. We were hoping to leave yesterday morning with a healthy happy baby but found out her sodium levels were high from dehydration so we had to stay. Her bili levels had gone down thankfully now it was just waiting for the sodium levels to go down. Finally after more tests and good news we were discharged about 5:00 pm, in time to rush home shower and visit family to enjoy the remaining of Thanksgiving day. I am so grateful for modern medicine, doctors, a wonderful husband who has been the best daddy and a great support. We are so blessed to have had my mom come help the first couple of days being home, cleaning, doing laundry, bringing us food. Amazing friends, our wonderful ward. I can't express how much love I have for everyone we have in our lives. Thank you all for your kind words, support, in helping us every way shape and form.
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| Using warm packs on her arms to find a vein |
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| Enjoying laying under the heater! |
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| "The Cage" |
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| A gift basket given by a sweet family |
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| Their letter to those in the hospital |
I have this handy little thing called a Supplemental Nursing System - I wish I could just drive over and give it to you. It's a bottle attachment with a long thin tube. You screw it onto a bottle of formula, hang the bottle downwards, and use hospital tape to secure the tube right over your breast so the baby takes both in her mouth. That way you're still nursing, but if your letdown is slow, or your milk hasn't come in yet, your baby isn't getting frustrated for lack of food and fighting and crying. I had to use it with Fitz for a while because he wanted food to come faster, too. You could ask at the hospital for one - I'm surprised the lactation consultant didn't offer one.
ReplyDeleteHang in there! She is a beautiful baby, seriously.
SOOO glad to hear that your little princess is doing better. It is definitely the hardest thing to see your newborn in the hospital. Let us know when your up for visitors :)
ReplyDeleteGlad you guys made it home in time for some of Thanksgiving! I may be able to get you the SNS thing from work if you need it. Hope it's getting easier for you!
ReplyDeleteI'm so sorry you guys had to go through this! There is nothing more sad than a tiny baby in a hospital bed. I'm glad she's doing better. Those first few weeks are rough, but things will eventually feel normal again! She's so adorable!
ReplyDeleteI cried through that whole post, that would be so hard to watch your baby go through that! And that letter from the "J" family was so sweet. Hope you guys are doing better now!
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